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Treatment for Alcohol & Substance Use Disorders - A Training Resource

By Jim Messina, Ph.D., CCMHC, NCC, DCMHS-T

I’m Your Disease

I hate meetings. I hate a Higher Power. I hate anyone who has a program. To all who come into contact with me, I wish suffering and I wish death.

Allow me to introduce myself, I am the disease of addiction. Cunning, Baffling and Powerful, that’s me.

I love to catch you with the element of surprise. I love pretending I am your friend and lover. I have given you comfort, have I not? Wasn’t I there when you were Lonely? When you wanted to die, didn’t you call me? I was there.

I love to make you hurt. I love to make you cry. Better yet, I love to make you so numb you neither hurt nor cry. When you can’t feel anything at all: This is true glory.

I will give you instant gratification, and all that I ask of you is long-term suffering. I’ve been there for you always. When things weren’t going right in your life, you invited me. You said you didn’t deserve these good things, and I was the ONLY ONE who would agree with you. Together we were able to DESTROY ALL THINGS GOOD in your life.

People don’t take me seriously. They take strokes seriously, heart attacks seriously, even diabetes they take seriously. Fools that they are, they do not know that without my help many of these things would not be made possible.

I am such a hated disease, and yet I do not come uninvited. You CHOOSE TO HAVE ME. So many have chosen me over REALITY and PEACE.

More than you hate me, I hate all of you who have a Twelve-Step Program, your Meetings, your Higher Power, ALL WEAKEN ME, and I cannot function in the manner I am accustomed to.

Now I must lie here quietly. You don’t see me. BUT I AM GROWING – BIGGER THAN EVER. When you only exist, I may live. When you live, I only exist. BUT I AM HERE … and until we meet again, if we meet … again, I WISH YOU SUFFERING AND DEATH.